Welcome again to Spiritual Mischief! This is our newsletter and our first idea was to pick a topic and write public letters back and forth. So that’s what we’re doing (for now). My first topic pick was “money” and it was Louis’ turn to write on it. Get ready for this … uhm … ride, on a wild, uh, stallion of a letter. -Simon
Dear Simon,
You asked me about money so let me share my thoughts with you and our friend. Money, as we all know,* has its etymological foundation in the Old-English ‘mo ney’, which has its roots in ‘more ney’, which in turn can be traced to ‘more neigh’ : the encouragement given by horse breeders to the horse in question (and action) for more neighs during (and particularly at the final moments of) the insemination process of the mare at the precise point just post horse-climax when the stallion in question is in its final milliseconds of exalted horse heavenly heaving and simultaneously in the first moments of that terrible period after that brief glimpse of the void, when the magic sexual spell is quite abruptly lifted and the subject (always male) in question becomes aware of the awkward situation he is in, and in the fast-growing embarrassment that follows wants nothing more than to dislodge its enormous horse penis out of this weird looking mare and leave this particular stable and “Jesus Christ everyone is watching, AND JESUS CHRIST THIS ISN’T EVEN A REAL HORSE I’M FUCKING!!, WHAT THE HORSE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE??”, and it is at precisely this moment the horse is being encouraged to do some more neighing so that the final leftover blobs of stallion spunk can, through the neighing-induced contractive movements, pulsate through its urethra into the fake mare vagina. Not very merry; not so for the recently sobered up and abhorred horse in question, not so for the container holder (usually a stableboy) below having to wait these final never-ending seconds to see to it that the last remaining horse cum is safely (and, shudder, warmly) captured in its awaiting cup.
When the results of the ‘mo neighs’ have been safely accumulated, the tantalizing prospect of procurement of certain future wealth spreads like warm liquid through the mechanical-horse-porn-enabling horse farmers’ veins, whilst the coagulating white gold that was just moments ago warmly rushing and gushing through its creator’s cock, its confused stunted sperms are now quickly deep-frozen, awaiting their time to swim into an actual living receiver to continue this proud line of noble beasts in the future. We (taking both a breeder and horse lover perspective here) can only hope that at least one of them succeeds in finding an egg and starting the whole ‘mo neighing business’ all over again so that we can, for all eternity, enjoy the unending cycle of more horses, and more neighing. For that is the point: more neighing, more neigh, more ney, more ney, mo ney, mo ney, money money, money, more money, more money, more more more money. Please. More money.
…but wait. Isn’t it prophesized that:
Mo money
Mo problems
Well, no, this is not always the case. But still, we are human, and therefore we have, through many of our greatest artists, expressed our infatuation with neighing in songs like ‘Money, that’s what I want,’ as, for example, Lennon/McCartney declared.
And so it was covered by John Lee Hooker in ‘I Need Some Money’, a song I just discovered this past month. Although now I’m confused. Was the Beatles’ version actually a cover of this song?**
Anyway, here is the song, it’s quite good. It’s not about neighing post-cum/climax-horses at all (well, not directly)!
Furthermore! some inspiration of this previous week that I’d like to share:
1.
A friend of mine sent me this journal of poems and spiritual meditations of Dag Hammarskjöld, the second Secretary-General of the United Nations. I didn’t know much/anything about him, and I haven’t as of yet read much, but I’m quite enthralled and intrigued already. This was quite a man. I’ll just share this:
“The longest journey is the journey inward, for he who has chosen his destiny has started upon his quest for the source of his being.”
“For all that has been, thanks. For all that will be, Yes”
2.
Mural by Lupe Fiasco
This last week ‘Mural’ has suddenly reappeared in my life. Those lyrics. Fuck. So smart. So much FUN, as well. And a Secret Squirrel and Morocco Mole reference – a reference that feels so obscure (at least to me), that it feels like it was made just for me (interesting categories: references that you feel were made just for you).
Also in this song: hay for horses reference! Just now heard it!!
And I just remembered. In another one of Lupe’s great raps, Deliver (so much fun rapping along to this song), he references Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, so I guess Lupe and I watch (and enjoy!) the same cartoons. I feel like we’ve bonded. The power of (obscure) references, I guess (or, the power of sharing).
3.
There is a perfect joke in ‘The Great Dictator’ that I don’t want to spoil and can’t find on the internet which is all for the best because I would encourage EVERYONE to please watch the entire movie. (And not just for the exquisite deeply felt humanistic speech at the end.) So good.
So please look out for a ho(a)rse joke. It’s subtle. Really. A subtle Charlie Chaplin joke. And I haven’t just spoiled it. I promise.
(Edit: this is weird, but the hay reference in ‘Mural’ actually mirrors the ho(a)rse Chaplin joke. I like it.)
Ok!
So ends my money ramble. Simon, all the best in trying to figure out what to do with all these words and don’t forget our rap challenge.
As always,
Yours in grateful thankfulness, admiration and trembling fear,
Louis
NOTES:
*we don’t
**yes, that is indeed the case. In fact, I, again, appear to be quite ignorant. From Wikipedia:
‘Money (That's What I Want)’ is a rhythm and blues song written by Tamla founder Berry Gordy and Janie Bradford, which was the first hit record for Gordy's Motown enterprise. Barrett Strong recorded it in 1959 as a single for the Tamla label, distributed nationally on Anna Records. Many artists later recorded the tune, including the Beatles in 1963 and the Flying Lizards in 1979.
I quite enjoy the name ‘flying lizards’ and this shows me that uncovering and following possible ignorance can and may lead to (wonderful) discoveries. This is a serious point. Please be conscious of and embrace your ignorance as a (starting) point to learning. Really understanding that one is, on the whole, almost wholly, ignorant of EVERYTHING is humbling and stumbling, so please watch what it is you’re stumbling over, it just might be MONEY (how to be conscious of one’s own ignorance is quite interesting to unpack, let’s do that some time).
Also, just listened to and watched the Flying Lizards version, it is absolutely hilarious, with an absolutely whacky video clip. Please watch. I might have a ‘Flying Lizards’ week coming up.
If you enjoyed this read you may consider sharing it with your pet, mother or other living creature. You might consider subscribing to this newsletter, you might consider unsubscribing from this newsletter, or you might even consider not considering these options. You might consider all this a bit paternalistic, or you might not! Whatever you choose, please be truthful and loving. Or don’t. Either way, Simon will be pleased. -Louis
Thanks for this great accompaniment to my breakfast. Quite a surprising read while having a mouthful of, shudder, yoghurt. And thanks for the amazing John Lee Hooker song! it reminded me of an eponymous bubblegum pop song from '80s Johannesburg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH4WuUPaaGU